What would you do tomorrow if it was purely for your own enjoyment—if you couldn’t share it, talk about it, or benefit from it in any external way, even privately?
When I first confronted this question, my initial answers were playing sports or spending time with my kids—activities seemingly free from productivity demands.
The Productivity Paradox
Upon deeper reflection, I recognize an uncomfortable truth: I struggle to separate enjoyment from productivity. Even leisure activities like exercise, reading, and skill-building feel tied to external goals and measurable results. This exposes what I’d describe as an addiction to productivity that has become intertwined with my sense of self-worth.
The Discomfort of Purposelessness
The prospect of spending an entire day without any productive aims feels genuinely uncomfortable. This emotional resistance reveals how thoroughly productivity has shaped my identity, making it difficult to distinguish between personal fulfillment and achievement-oriented pursuits.
A Question for Reflection
What would bring you genuine joy if productivity and recognition played no role? Authentic enjoyment might require simply existing and experiencing life without measuring its utility.